Bliss Counseling

One of the secrets to a lasting partnership? Accepting Influence. Accepting influence is an important aspect of any relationship as it reflects a willingness to be open to what your partner is saying, thinking, or feeling and communicates respect. Many people believe the false notion that to accept influence means you have to roll over and agree with your partner. You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says in order to show respect, hear his perspective, and i...dentify elements that may be reasonable. In fact, you may not change your perspective at all. What it does create is enhanced communication and connection, which in the long run, DOES translate to a tighter bond and deeper intimacy. When your partner feels heard, he is more likely to open up and share more of his thoughts, ideas, needs, and feelings. The good news? Accepting influence doesn’t require grand gestures. It can be a slow nod of the head, a quick I see your point, or an acknowledgement that their feelings are valid. What are ways you and your partner accept influence? cred: @hayleyjophoto

Boundaries are important. For kids. For adults. They let people know what’s okay and what’s not okaythe guardrails so to speak to keep the relationship on track. Healthy relationships cannot exist without them. Most people tend to vacillate between having no boundaries in an effort to be nice and accepted by others, and erupting into anger and rage after holding everything in for so long. Often it plays out something like this: you say yes to all of your boss’ requests for... fear of not being liked or thinking that you must say yes because you’re a good girl. After your mental health and relationships suffer, you decide you’ve had enough and quit without ever having a discussion as to what led you to the decision. You replay this scenario at your next job and the cycle continues. This pattern can also be seen in relationships. It’s important to advocate for what you need and be honest with yourself and others. Many people carry the false belief that saying what they need or setting boundaries is mean. I assure you, stating your needs in a matter of fact way without a ton of emotion is merely respecting yourself and the relationship. On the contrary, waiting until you’ve had enough and blowing up at your friend/co-worker/child/significant other without warning creates an eggshell environment. Over time, this can be very damaging and lead to a lack of safety and unpredictability in the relationship. How confident do you feel setting boundaries? Do you have false beliefs that keep you from setting and maintaining boundaries?

Last night’s full moon was all about restoring balance. We undermine our well-being by giving in to automatic thoughts and habitual behaviorfalling back on old ways of being instead of creating new pathways of awareness. Aches and pains signal that the body is out of alignment. Sleep and stress reduction are two of the most important aspects of well-being that can help the body come back to a state of homeostasis. How can you support your well-being? *Go to bed and wake up a...t the same time each night * Avoid too much stimulation before bed (technology/work) * Make your room as quiet and dark as possible * Track when your body is unable to relax * Notice stress triggers (what happened before and after) * Create rituals to slow down (breath work/meditation/journaling) * Use food as medicinereduce sugar and caffeine intake and increase fruits and vegetables The key is self-awareness. Only you can monitor and determine stress in your life and take action to reduce it. Where is your life out of balance? What steps can you take to restore balance?

Intentions set our moral compass and give us direction and meaning. Before every action there is an intention. Neuroscience reveals that repetitive patterns of thought and action actually change our nervous system by strengthening neural pathways. Meaning...we can predict how we will behave in the future by paying attention to our thoughts and habits. We see this play out every day. If we have a habit of being angry, even the slightest insult will trigger fury. What we practi...ce becomes habit. Fortunately, we also have the ability to rewire the brain and it all starts with our intentions. We cannot control the people around us, but we can control our intentions, what we choose to focus on, and our response. When faced with a difficult situation, go back to the breath. Tune into your body. Set an intention to be present and show compassion (and any other intention that the situation may call for) and let go of fear, anger, grasping, and doubt. The seeds we plant now will eventually bear fruit. Are you planting with intention?