Oasis Counseling Center

Kurt Vonnegut: When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he... asked those kinds of getting to know you questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes. And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them. And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them. And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could Win at them. See more

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.... From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you we’re in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to bargain for it. You don’t have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. -Jamila White, @inspiredjamila

Kind Recovery is a local substance abuse counseling agency with a focus on trauma and supporting members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Wise words as we try to navigate the ongoing pandemic...

Trauma has many faces...

As Suicide Prevention Month wraps up, we want to share some statistics and resources. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. An estim...ated quarter million people each year become suicide survivors. Intimate partner violence played a role in 2,031 male and 439 female suicides across all age groups. Whether you're struggling with mental health, or domestic violence, you're not alone. Project Safe's and other local resources -Join a support group (NAMI for mental health-https://nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups, Project Safe's New Beginning- for domestic violence survivors) Advantage Behavioral Health (https://www.advantagebhs.org/) UGA CAPS Program (https://www.uhs.uga.edu/caps/welcome) Project Safe Hotline: 706-543-3331 Project Safe Textline: 706-765-8019 National Suicide Prevention Lifelinfe: 1-800-273-8255 Crisis Textline: Text HOME to 741741 #ProjectSafeAthens #EndDomesticViolence #SuicidePrevention

This is an official statement from the American Counseling Association, which is somewhat rare. Helping our fellow human beings requires mental health professionals to do so while acknowledging the greater cultural/societal context. To do otherwise is to cause harm. ACA Recognizes Trauma Due to Kentucky's Grand Jury's Decision in Breonna Taylor's Case Sep 24, 2020... We have a moral and professional obligation to deconstruct institutions that have historically been designed to benefit white America. These systems must be dismantled in order to level the playing field for Black communities. The American Counseling Association recognizes the devastation and trauma brought on by the Kentucky grand jury's decision not to charge anyone in the shooting of Breonna Taylor. This decision has a chilling effect on Black women, the Black community, and our society as a whole. Racism, police brutality, systemic violence, and the dehumanizing forces of oppression, powerlessness, and white supremacy have eroded the very fabric of humanity, which ideally binds our society together. Seek support and information on racism's psychological toll. Practice self-care through counseling, meditation, and connecting with supportive communities. Our stance is: Black Lives Matter. We have a moral and professional obligation to deconstruct institutions that have historically been designed to benefit white America. These systems must be dismantled in order to level the playing field for Black communities. We remain committed to change.

Love this! Hang in there everyone - you are stronger and more resilient than you know!

Unique perspective around RBG’s resilience

Please share this along to get the word out!

We’ve all been doing the best we can and many of us are still struggling at high levels. This article explains more about those dynamics.

I say these things to clients all the time!

Like many of you, I’m feeling weary this week. Some days I feel on top of my anxiety and some days it crashes over me. Some days I jump out of bed and think, I... got this! It’s going to be OK. Other days I just want to hide under the covers until the world gets easier and I have a pandemic end-date, a funded universal commitment to social justice, and a back-to-school plan that keeps students, teachers, and staff safe. I finished reading The Gifts audio book this afternoon. It’s the first time I’ve read it aloud, and when I came across this amazing quote - reading it made me feel better. When I first discovered this quote, I thought about the not-so-pretty details from my pre-sober, pre-breakdown-spiritual-awakening life. I thought about all of the proving, perfecting, and pleasing. I never thought about how to apply this learning to the here and now. Today, this quote shook me by the shoulders in a different way. Not only is it impossible for me to go back and make the old details pretty, I can’t make the new details pretty today. Uncertainty and anxiety drive me to hyper-focus on the details, but all that does is ramp up my fear and exhaustion. I think I’m going to try to move forward - in the wobbliest of ways - and refocus on the beautiful whole: Love, rest, justice, walking, water, connection, self-care, sleep, and joy. I'll keep you posted. Stay awkward, brave, and kind, BB

Practicing mindfulness with intention can give a focus to your day. Stacy has been using this one with many of her clients recently.