ACTive Care Counseling & Coaching

Your thoughts? . . . .... *From Anderson, Sweezy, and Schwartz 2017. . . . . #InternalFamilySystems #ForeverTired #LymeDiseaseSucks #CantThink #ToxicPositivity #MillionsMissing #ChronicInsta #PeoplePleaserNoMore #ChronicPainSucks #Undiagnosed #Misdiagnosed #CantThink #MentalHealthJourney #PostTraumaticGrowth #HighlySensitivePerson #SymptomManagement See more

Hi, hello, here to tell you that if you keep failing at your goals it is NOT YOUR FAULT. You’re likely missing a key resource. Yes, you can have success without money. Yes, you can have success without a support system. But to keep climbing the ladder, you DO need money. You do need support. And education comes in all different forms, so there’s no argument there either.... Do you need all resources at all times to have success? No. But you do need at least one, and usually more. We’ve been trained to look at ourselves and only ourselves to climb the ladders of success, but why? That’s never made sense to me. We are a social species. We need each other, and we’re toxically independent in this country. If you can’t figure out why life is so hard, please don’t blame yourself. Life is hard because something is missing, and your only job is learning how to listen to what drives you, and then reaching out for that. This means incredibly difficult decisions and really uncomfortable experiences. Which requires tools to handle. And there are several places to learn these tools. My favorite? Therapy. Obviously :) But, there are blogs, books, podcasts, support groups, coaches, family stories and histories, and so much more. So please, please. For your own sake and the sake of your community who needs you. Stop taking all the blame. If you need some immediate and low-cost options for help, here are two resources that me and my director have to offer: 1 my support group that starts this Saturday at 10am. DM to sign up, or email [email protected]. $25/session for 8 weeks, but we can work with you on cost if that amount is too high. 2 go to @therapywithjoy and click the link in her bio to buy her self-compassion workbook. It’s good stuff . . . . #MightyTogether #ChronicIllnessLife #ChronicIllnessCommunity #ChronicIllnessSupport #CrushingLyme #DisabilityLife #LymeDontKillMyVibes #ChronicLyme #IGersOfAtlanta #YouCanHeal #KeystoneHabits #KeystoneHabit #LymeIsReal #ChronicHealth #HealthSupport #MentalHealthSupporter #SocialSupport #ChronicPainRehabilitation #HealingLyme

That’s all for today. . . . .... #MightyTogether #YourPainIsMyPain #CantDoThisAlone #ToxicPositivity See more

This year has been pretty difficult regarding work + pain. Emotional + physical. So many changes this year. Remember when we thought this wouldn’t last more than a month? And then maybe a couple of months? And then no way we’d be doing this the whole year... Yet, here we are. Adapting. Adjusting. Some better than others. If you’re still using your side tables as a desk or using a desk that wobbles or a lamp that makes you sleepy throughout the day, you’re not alone. Seriously, it’s hard to put the effort into making changes that feel like they won’t be permanent. But these minor details actually play a large role in our energy levels. And I don’t know about you, but when I have low energy, I can’t do my work nearly as well or as much. It’s not just as simple as buying new furniture, of course. It’s about building the body awareness needed to actually know if a space is working for you or not. Please share with your loved ones in GA: upcoming group starts Jan 16th. Time TBD. We’ll be working on what’s mentioned above as well as several other aspects revolving around Work From Home Burnout. (This working outside of the home are welcome too, this information targets both!) 8 week commitment, $25/group! If finances are a hard right now, please DM me or email me: [email protected]. . . . . #ChronicPain #MentalIllnessFeelsLike #MyMorningStillness #ChronicFatigueWarrior #GradSchoolChronicles #ChronicFatigueSucks #ChronicFatigueFighter #CoffeeCupChronicles #WorkFromHomeLife #MentalHealthDay #HighlySensitivePerson #SymptomManagement #WorkingFromHomeLife #WorkingFromHomeProblems

When everyone around us is celebrating something new, it can be incredibly hard to not feel alone while you’re wanting something old to return. Your feelings and thoughts and wants are valid. I hope this year brings you community, hope, laughter, and lightheartedness. You deserve it.... . . . . #MightyTogether #ChronicIllnessLife #ChronicIllnessCommunity #ChronicIllnessSupport #CrushingLyme #DisabilityLife #LymeDontKillMyVibes #GriefWork #Grieving

Probably way more than you need to. Look, I get it. I love quality work. But if you’re giving 100% of your energy to a job, what’s leftover when you get home? My guess (from personal and client experience!) is that you can do your job exactly how it’s supposed to be done without depleting every ounce of your energy. This is important.... If you’re exhausted when you get home every single day, something HAS to change. If 2020 taught us anything, I think it’s that we do not need to break ourselves to get things done. And when we do, the rest of our lives suffer. They say you need to eat better and sleep better in order to do better at work. This is true, but how do you get there? My take - you need to figure out what tasks are a priority at work in order to have enough energy to do things like meal planning and working out and getting to bed on time. Sometimes, all it takes is a small but powerful request form your boss for a specific accommodation. Accommodations don’t mean you work less - they mean you work better without exhausting yourself, which is a win-win for you AND your boss. If you live in GA, my next therapy group is starting January 16th. We’ll be talking about things like - work-related fatigue - how to prevent work stress from spilling over to home life - dealing with increased tension from coworkers/bosses - dealing with your own as well as other’s expectations of you And so much more. It’s an 8-week group at $25/session, which is the lowest cost group I’ve run so far. BUT if cost is still an issue, please DM me. I’m happy to work with you. This is a topic I’m passionate about, and I don’t want money to be a hindrance. If you know anyone suffering with work-from-home burnout or even working out of the home, please consider sharing this post with them. This group might just be the thing to get 2021 off to a good start, and we all know how needed that is. . . . . #MentalHealthSupporter #SocialSupport #CounselorsHelp #AtlantaHealth #FlareUpDays #HealthTeam #ChronicSelfLove #ChronicCrew #LymeProblems #ThisIsLyme #NotAtAllDisabilitiesAreVisible

When’s the last time beating yourself up made you change your behaviors? In #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy, the fault doesn’t matter at all. The truth doesn’t really matter either. That’s because facts don’t override emotions, and this is purely a body-response. The amygdala (our emotion center in the brain) sends out more neurotransmitters than it can receive. This means that emotions have a stronger physical effect on our body, and factual information doesn’t make us f...eel better. My point? Practicing self compassion isn’t actually about whether you deserve self-compassion or not (ps - we all deserve it, but that’s irrelevant to the body). Self compassion is about teaching our body how to calm down so that we can save our energy (aka: resources) for the things that matter. My director @TherapyWithJoy has a new book out, all about self-compassion practices. Check out the link in her bio to grab a copy! And if you have friends or family members who constantly say, I should be... - Reading more - Exercising more - Not snacking so much - Doing more projects - Etc. Let them know what the research says, and ask them if they want some extra support in healing their nervous system. Therapy can help guide them through this difficult process, and I currently have 3 more spaces available before I pause on taking new clients for a bit. . . . . #ForeverTired #LymeDiseaseSucks #CantThink #ChronicalLyme #ToxicPositivity #MillionsMissing #ChronicInsta #PeoplePleaserNoMore #MentalHealthTips #WhereTheTiredGirlsAre #IGersOfAtlanta #ChronicWellness #YouCanHeal #MindHealthy #CrushingLyme #LymeDontKillMyVibes #TraumaHealing #SymptomManagement

Which statement do you agree with? You can only choose one. In one of my first classes in graduate school, someone posed this question to the class. Let’s have a discussion :) Comment your thoughts below, and if you feel really strongly about one, I wanna know!... . . . . #ChronicPainRehabilitation #HealingLyme #FlareUpDays #HealthTeam #LymeLife #RelationshipSuccess #RelationshipManagement #LymeProblems #ForeverTired #LymeDiseaseSucks #CantThink #ChronicalLyme #ToxicPositivity #MillionsMissing #ChronicInsta #PeoplePleaserNoMore

I absolutely love this account! Another therapist specifically working to help people with chronic illnesses and pain feel heard, accepted, and understood.

The Are you ok? Memes are everywhere for suicide prevention, and I’m loving the sentiment, but as a mental health professional, I feel I need to expand on this. This question alone just doesn’t sit well with me. I’d encourage you to consider starting small. If someone asked me if I’m ok, I’d immediately say yes. That’s just our culture. Be ok, and don’t let your guard down.... But if someone said to me, Hey, I know you went through something rough recently, and I was wondering if you’d be open to talking about it with me? Please don’t feel forced, but I really want to be there with you in it, even if that just means you vent and I listen. Yes, this is a shit ton more words than Are you ok? And it’s also a hell of lot more meaningful, vulnerable, and effective. It asks the person permission, which allows them to say yes or know and have a sense of autonomy. It also lets them know that you’re willing to hear all their words, since you’re willing to say all those words. Our culture loves short. Succinct. Low emotion. We have to be willing to show these emotions to others in order for them to trust us. So yes, please check in on your strong friends, but remember that it’s going to be uncomfortable, and your friends needs to see that before they’ll feel comfortable enough to share their discomfort with you. I hope this helps . . . . #RelationshipManagement #LymeProblems #ForeverTired #LymeDiseaseSucks #CantThink #ChronicalLyme #ToxicPositivity #MillionsMissing #ChronicInsta #LymeProblems #ThisIsLyme #NotAtAllDisabilitiesAreVisible #CantThink #MentalHealthJourney #PostTraumaticGrowth #HighlySensitivePerson #WorldSuicidePreventionDay #WorldSuicidePrevention

We don’t create our thoughts and therefore have no control over our thoughts. This is the stance from which I practice therapy, which probably sounds incredibly counterintuitive and blatantly wrong.... In ACT, we don’t worry about whether a thought is true or not. All we care about is how you behave after these thoughts occur. And even then, this still doesn’t paint the whole picture. We give our mind SO much credit for something it hardly has any power over- our actions. It’s mind AND body, because both are constantly communicating with each other. Our body sends us signals, which then create these stories in our heads. We then use those stories to send more signals to our bodies. The problem is, we have a reallllyyyy hard time listening to the body, and then we contribute our thoughts’ origins to our mind. We just aren’t taught how to listen to our bodies in our culture. We’re taught to - Eat when the bell rings, rather than when we’re hungry. - Go to bed when the house is clean and the leftover work from the day is done rather than when we’re tired. - Wake up to an alarm clock rather than to the sun. - Workout for an hour 3-4 times a week and sit the rest of the time, rather than moving our bodies just because we want to. Our way of life isn’t conducive to emotional and physical wellbeing, and I personally struggle with this daily. I’m constantly battling between being productive mentally (work, writing, planning life) and being physically active in a way that’s good for my joints and tendons. Wondering who else feels the same? And if you’ve figured out a way to listen to your body better, please drop your suggestions below . . . . #CrushingLyme #DisabilityLife #LymeDontKillMyVibes #ChronicLyme #IGersOfAtlanta #YouCanHeal #KeystoneHabits #KeystoneHabit #LymeIsReal #ChronicHealth #HealthSupport #MentalHealthSupporter #SocialSupport #ChronicPainRehabilitation #HealingLyme #FlareUpDays #HealthTeam #LymeLife #RelationshipSuccess #RelationshipManagement

I’m guilty of committing my biggest social media pet peeve. I’ve been giving out a blanket statement for a while now: Sit with your feelings. I really dislike when people give advice on social without anything to help the struggling person actually be able to do the thing they’re being advised to do.... And I’ve been creating posts around sitting with your feelings, for so long now without ever having the most important part of the conversation. Recuperation. What do you do when you can’t stop crying or feeling angry and it just keeps lingering? Everyone’s situation is different, and that’s why therapy is so helpful. It gives you that individual attention we all need so much. There are a couple caveats to feel your feelings. 1. Start small. Feel joy, gratitude, minor irritations, little bursts of anger. When you catch yourself brushing these small feelings aside, bring your attention back to them. Sit with THOSE feelings before moving on to the big feelings. 2. Have an after-care plan for the days when you do break down in tears or lash out in anger. You’re human - this WILL happen. And you have to take care of yourself after it does. This looks different for everyone. How do you take care of yourself when you’re feeling all the hard feelings? Leave a comment below, it might help someone else going through something similar. . . . . #MentalHealthTips #WhereTheTiredGirlsAre #IGersOfAtlanta #ChronicWellness #YouCanHeal #MindHealthy #CrushingLyme #LymeDontKillMyVibes #TraumaHealing #TraumaTherapy #Traumas #PostTraumaticGrowth #ReclaimTheHappy #LymeIsReal #ChronicIllnessLife

We sit with our pain, not because we tolerate or accept that this will be our life forever, but so that we can know what to do next. If we’re too uncomfortable to sit with emotions and/or physical pain, there are tools we can use to slowly approach this work. Slowly. That’s important. Patience and persistence, to me, is pacing.... Pacing is a common term in the chronic illness and medical community, and essentially it means: Slow down, but don’t stop. Learning to slow down and to actually connect with the pain inside our minds and our bodies is critical. If we don’t know where the fire is, we can’t put it out. Instead, we have to feel the heat, see the flames, and take a diligent approach to bringing the fire down. This work isn’t easy, but neither is living in pain. I find it helpful to have some semblance of control when it feels like everything else is so out of my control. . . . . #ChronicPain #MentalIllnessFeelsLike #MyMorningStillness #ChronicFatigueWarrior #GradSchoolChronicles #ChronicFatigueSucks #ChronicFatigueFighter #CoffeeCupChronicles #WorkFromHomeLife #MentalHealthDay #LymeDontKillMyVibes #TraumaHealing #TraumaTherapy #Traumas #PostTraumaticGrowth #ReclaimTheHappy #LymeIsReal #ChronicIllnessLife

I love my workspace inside the @thesunroomatl. I’m working under the best director I ever could’ve asked for, and I feel incredibly lucky to be able to do this work virtually with clients from the comfort of this beautiful office. We’re also subletting this space on the days we’re not in here, so if anyone in Atlanta’s interested, let me know. I set my desk up like this to help prevent migraines, and 90% of the time it works.... If you have chronic pain of any kind, I highly recommend this desktop stand and an external mouse/keyboard. The stand folds up really compactly and easily. Other things I’ve been doing lately that are helping with my pain: - @dr.driver_uppercervical - @liveyouravo - sleep - letting the little things go Things I’m still working to become consistent on: - daily rehabilitation exercises - eating more healthy fats and less processed carbs What are you working on to help with pain? Let me know in the comments #chronicpain #mentalillnessfeelslike #mymorningstillness #chronicfatiguewarrior #gradschoolchronicles #chronicfatiguesucks #chronicfatiguefighter #coffeecupchronicles #workfromhomelife #workfromhomeperks #workfromhomeonline #workfromhometoday #prettythingsmakemehappy #mightytogether #mentalhealthday #anotherdayintheoffice See more

Actually, when you’re trying to force yourself to see the reason and all the silver linings, it’s actually harder to see them. Before the answers can come to us, we have to open up to and observe the hard emotions that we prefer to keep locked away. If you or your loved ones are suffering, consider calling a therapist. We are here to hold space for you, be a sounding board, and help keep you safe while you work through these hard feelings.... . . . . #MightyTogether #ChronicIllnessLife #ChronicIllnessCommunity #ChronicIllnessSupport #CrushingLyme #DisabilityLife #LymeDontKillMyVibes #ChronicLyme #IGersOfAtlanta #YouCanHeal #KeystoneHabits #KeystoneHabit #LymeIsReal #ChronicHealth #HealthSupport #MentalHealthSupporter #ChronicPainRehabilitation #HealingLyme #RelationshipSuccess #RelationshipManagement #LymeProblems #ForeverTired #LymeDiseaseSucks #CantThink #ChronicalLyme #ToxicPositivity #MillionsMissing #ChronicInsta See more

For those of you who wish your family members, coworkers, or friends were more positive. Reframing negative thoughts requires: - education - positive life experiences... - self reflection - practice - a supportive environment It’s not just a choice. Not all of these things are acquired through hard work. A lot of time, it has more to do with luck. Some of us are incredibly lucky to have been dealt the hand we’ve been dealt. To have the resources we have. You cannot grow if you consistently strive for positive emotions only. Avoidance of negative feelings always stunts growth and hinders positive relationships. So next time your loved one is harping on about their negative thoughts, try this: Sit with them in their negativity. Know that it’s theirs, not yours. You can hold space for them while also not absorbing their attitude. Don’t tell them they’re wrong, they need to think differently, or they shouldn’t feel that way. Chances are, they already wish they felt differently. Instead, ask questions. Listen. Listen to what they’re saying as well as what they’re not saying. Hear the fear of judgment and shame behind their defenses. Tell them you love them and that you believe in them. Fear of what will happen if they’re vulnerable is what keeps them in the negative. Show them it’s ok to be vulnerable with you by being vulnerable with them . . . . #MightyTogether #ChronicIllnessLife #ChronicIllnessCommunity #ChronicIllnessSupport #CrushingLyme #DisabilityLife #LymeDontKillMyVibes #ChronicLyme #IGersOfAtlanta #YouCanHeal #KeystoneHabits #KeystoneHabit #LymeIsReal #ChronicHealth #HealthSupport #MentalHealthSupporter #SocialSupport

It’s so easy to judge others when we have more resources then them. #CheckYourPrivilege

There are a few reasons why I never wanted a big wedding. The biggest reason -> stress. Since the day we got engaged two years ago, I’d start to feel stress and anxiety when I thought about planning something big. So we kept putting it off.... But I also had many moments where I did start dreaming of a pretty dress, beautiful flowers, and decorations. Somehow, thanks to my amazing community, the day I wanted came together so much better than I originally pictured (aka going to the courthouse in a romper). This gorgeous bouquet was made by my friend and neighbor, @floralmatters. She said do you want the flowers to be neat and tidy or wild and free? I said wild and free! And she took it from there. I couldn’t have pictured a better bouquet to match mine and Justin’s style. My other amazing friends came through for me as well. @jill_driver took some beautiful photos, @rootsmigrate gave us a phenomenal ceremony speech, @scormack let us borrow his camera to record everything, and my sister was there with me and helped me put on my dress. While I would’ve loved to have each and every one of our loved ones with us, our values around stress-free living and simplicity guided us in our decisions, and we don’t regret a single moment. We created a Facebook group for our friends and family where we got to share our photos and will soon post our video, and we feel like they got to be a part of that day with us. They celebrated with us in spirit and didn’t have to worry about travel or anything else, which I know many really appreciated. Choosing to make certain decisions with intention isn’t always easy. Actually it’s rarely easy, but when you live with chronic illness, it’s so worth it. I can’t imagine the amount of stress we would’ve had planning a larger wedding, and we are really happy with this decision. Values-based decisions is something I cover in my chronic pain support group. Have you checked out my flyer for it? It’s posted in my Instagram stories and highlights (@activecarecounseling). If you’re interested, send me a DM and we’ll set up a free consultation

What is helpful: support. But how? How do you provide support for your loved ones when you don’t have any idea what they’re going through. 1. Start with empathy (not sympathy). Try, I can’t imagine how much stress this causes you on a daily basis. ... 2. Ask how you can help. Try: I’d love to be supportive for you, but to be honest I don’t know how. Are you open to helping me learn how to be there for you? 3. Refrain from giving advice, and try to ask more open-ended questions. (Open-ended questions tend to start with how, what, and where. 4. Send them resources whenever you come across them. My upcoming support group is the most comprehensive group I’ve run so far. It comes with a workbook and is 8-weeks long. Link in bio to learn more, or feel free to shoot me a DM with any questions. . . . . #MentalHealthTips #WhereTheTiredGirlsAre #IGersOfAtlanta #ChronicWellness #YouCanHeal #MindHealthy #CrushingLyme #LymeDontKillMyVibes #TraumaHealing #TraumaTherapy #Traumas #PostTraumaticGrowth #ReclaimTheHappy #LymeIsReal #ChronicIllnessLife #ChronicIllnessCommunity #ChronicIllnessSupport #ChronicHealth #HealthSupport #MentalHealthSupporter #SocialSupport #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy

Here’s a pain-tolerance building exercise for you. Pain tolerance is important for a variety of reasons. Whether we like it or not, we live in a society that’s driven by and toward constant productivity.... While I advocate for a life of slowing down and saying no to arbitrary to-do tasks, I also know that we often feel better when we get shit done. Friends and family appreciate it, we appreciate it, and we gain momentum to get more done. (It’s important to make sure we’re using that momentum for things that are actually meaningful, but that’s another post for another day.) The exercise For today, I want you to go 24 hours without itching your mosquito bites. I know this sounds crazy, but bear with me. When I used to scratch mosquito bites, I’d bleed and scar over every summer. My skin had dark bruises and scabs all up and down my legs and arms and the bite would itch twice as long. You know that feeling where the bite is itching so badly you feel like you could scratch right through your skin? That’s the moment *right* before the itch is about to die down, and chronic pain works very much the same way. The pain rises and falls on it’s own, but when we fight the pain, become overwhelmed and highly reactive towards it, we create bruises, scars, and double the length of our flare-ups or pain episodes. The mosquito bite exercise does not in any way take away your pain, it just helps you tolerate the pain while you’re searching for answers. When you watch yourself refrain from itching that bite, you realize - you have the capacity to not react to things impulsively - you have more control over your actions than you thought - you heal faster than you have in the past - you feel better about yourself and your abilities It’s an exercise in mindfulness, and you’ve got nothing to lose by trying Don’t forget, click the link in my bio to learn more about my upcoming chronic pain support group. We’ll be learning more about pain tolerance, how to stay productive without the overwhelm, and so much more. See more