Monastery of the Holy Spirit

We would rather be ruined than changed We would rather die in our dread Than climb the cross of the moment And let our illusions die. W H Auden, The Age of Anxiety: A Baroque Eclogue

Anger, Resentment & Forgiveness Saturday June 5 (Two Sessions: 9:30 AM & 1:30 PM) (Br. Mark) Forgiveness of all is a central challenge of Jesus' ministry. We ...can often get stuck in anger or resentment. History teaches us that this has led tribes and nations to marginalize, dehumanize, and kill other tribes, nations and peoples. This retreat will help us own our anger and resentment. While we have no pat answers, Christ is with us to empower us to forgive, to live forgiveness, and thus be the leaven of love to our communities in our modern world. Our Office is open Monday-Friday 8:00-1:00 and the number is 770-760-0959. Suggested donation for Retreats: $45.00

The struggle with self It is a true honor to meet the many people who come to the Monastery to make a retreat and to be able to share and learn from them. I hav...e yet to meet a man or a woman who is not going through some sort of deep interior struggle. Some may not always know that until they slow down and begin the road to deeper self-knowledge and a desire to connect deeply with God. Sometimes, it is when people discover that there is another way that the pain that they take for normal becomes a spur for interior growth. Sometimes people don’t know that they are not their thoughts, nor are they their emotions no matter how powerful they both can be. I would say that most thoughts are not all that personal, but often a running monologue (or tape) that can click on at any time when something happens that causes a reaction. Thoughts can race out of control if we get absorbed by them. The same goes for our emotions. Prayer or meditation, while not always easy does allow space to simply step back and observe, or to step back and simply express what is going on in prayer. When these are missing the whirlwind is often experienced and life can seem out of control, or actually is. Below the chaos, in the silence, we can come back together and be more grounded and present. Jesus talks about the death of self and the danger of losing one's soul even if the whole world is gained. It is a reversal of values, a resetting of priorities that can seem absurd to many. The values often taught by society, not all by any means, can make it almost impossible to lead a centered life that allows inner growth and harmony. Not only with self, but with others, and most importantly with God, if one is a believer.--Br.MD

Addicted to drama Today people seek drama, overstate their views, and are seen as heroes. It keeps away boredom and the need to think. Making overstatements l...essens the ability to change minds and hearts- We can speak the truth without the need to make sweeping judgments on those who disagree with us. State it, be real, but we are told not to judge the soul for a reason by Jesus because don't know the soul, that is God's territory. Truth does not have to be insulting or dripping in anger and sarcasm. That goes for everyone who calls themselves Christian. When we insult, we become just like everyone else, our witnesses watered down- Violence begets violence, insulting leads to insults, it only continues the chaos in the world. If we as Christians fail to follow the commands of Jesus, how can we expect others to listen? We witness by our love not by insults, against speaking the truth, do not water it down, be firm, yet gentle. -Br.MD

Hobbling along but thankful Lord, I got up this morning, hobbled over to shut off the alarm, then tried to stretch my stiff, painful back, then keeping my balan...ce re-hobbled over to my bed and put on my shoes. As I was on my way to my mediation in the church, I suddenly realized that everything hurt today. I started laughing, what a sight I must be in your eyes, Lord. So now my body, my aging body, resembles my soul, which is often stiff, in pain, and hobbles along. Yet lord I laughed because I am so thankful for my life, for my brothers, for my friends, and yes, in spite of it all, my overall sort of good health. Life is good, life is short, and my physical pain lets me know that it is very real and important.--BrMD

Silence is needed. It can give rest, calm us down, but there is also another side that is needed to encounter to allow deeper peace to arise. I wrote the piece below a few years back-Br.MD

What we love we shall grow to resemble. St. Bernard of Clairvaux, Cistercian Abbot Rhetorical question: What do you love? Think about it!

Prayer of the heart It's about your heart and about your consciousness. It's not about length of time you pray. Some of the most powerful prayers I've ever he...ard come from children, who can barely speak.---Iyanla Vanzant ++++++++++ Prayer has to be real. Why? Because on our spiritual path if we are not growing in self knowledge, if we do not bring our struggles, failures and fears before the Infinite, we are playing dress up, a total waste of time and energy. Since all is known by the Lord already, why pretend? We are told to love ourselves, because we are found lovable by God. When we know ourselves and embrace God’s love for us, we then find out why judging others are a waste of time. For as we are seen and loved, we understand so are all others. We begin to understand that more often than not, we really don’t know what we are doing. It takes the love of God to slowly bring us to the sensitivity of seeing Christ Jesus in all we meet. So pray in pain, when angry, when in failure and addiction or compulsions. Pray when all turn against you, or when all is going well, in all seasons of our lives, pray from the heart, to the Heart of God. The best prayer is one made when feeling in despair, but trusting anyway. This is the death to self, the turning away from self absorption and looking to the Lord. We need to learn to pray as a child prays.--Br.MD

Do you have "BOUNDARY" issues in your relationships? Then sign up for this retreat this Saturday, November 14 Boundaries (Br. Michael) This retreat will focus on boundary issues. Do you invade other people’s boundaries? Do you allow others to cross your boundaries? Boundaries are legitimate, healthy fences that we put between ourselves and others in order to maintain healthy relationships. The purposes of having boundaries are to protect and care for ourselves, an...d respect others, thereby establishing healthy relationships. Virtual Retreat on Zoom Two sessions on Saturday, November 14: 9:30 AM and 2:30 PM For registration: https://www.trappist.net/zoom-retreats #nov See more

The sea, Ayn Rand, hotdogs, and a job in 1976 (This is an older piece written in July of 06). I remember visiting some of the family in Texas, it was in 1976 an...d I guess I spent about 4 months there. I was 26, questioning on which direction that I wanted my life to go in. I was not in any kind of crisis, but just realized that I needed to think about some things, and to try to figure out why I made certain choices, and come to some kind of decision if I wanted to continue in the direction I was going. Since I was only going to be there a short time, I got a job on a construction site as a laborer; you know cleaning up things, stacking discarded building materials etcreally interesting things like that; I so loved my job! I had to laugh at one of my co-workers. He spent most days hiding, being bored. I decided better to just do the work, get it done, and time moved faster. I did try one day to slack off, and it was one of the longest days of my life, and actually found out it is harder work, doing nothing. I was able to meet some interesting people during this brief period of time. I remember meeting one carpenter, who was a follower of Ayn Rand, an objectivist philosopher, who still has quite a following. Being in my 20’s I read most of her stuff, liked some of it, learned quite a lot from her on the importance of rational thought, but also learned of its limitations if taken to extremes, which I felt she had. Well I had a lot of interesting conversations with this man, who was very intelligent and insightful in many ways. He was intrigued that I was a reader of Ayn, yet also a Christian, since most of her admirers seem to be atheist. Well I let him know that I thought she was a little too left brain for me, even if I did like quite a bit of what she had to say but he seemed to accept me anyway. The carpenter was a great lover of her novels, I was not, I liked her other works better, for instance The Virtue of Selfishness is probably my favorite, though her handling of belief in God, which was written by Nathaniel Brandon, was very hard to read, since it seemed very childish it how it portrayed believers. Her novels were really nothing but philosophical tracts on her world view. Novels are great, a whole universe can be created by the author, be it a godless one, or one like the left behind series, easy to do, even if it has nothing really to do with reality. We went back and forth on the place the novel has in forming people beliefs, and how harmful, or helpful, they can be for those who read them. For instance the carpenter believed that our culture was dying, that the irrational collectivist mind set was taking over, and in few years we would be savages fighting each other in the streets, because we were not becoming the objectivist ideal that Ayn Rand seemed to be writing about. Just like in Atlas Shrugged. I thought this funny, and related to him that he sounded like one of those people who carry signs around that has the end is near written on them. He did give me a time line, he thought by the mid 90’s everything would fall apart; I wonder if he was disappointed when it did not happen; he probably was. We all hate to be wrong. During that time, on my days off I would often go to the beach and walk. During the winter it is really nice, very few people around, and I would walk for miles I guess along the beach, enjoying the cold air coming in from the ocean, relishing in the sound of the ocean, not really thinking about any thing. The ocean does that, sort of quiets the mind letting it rest, a very refreshing experience, one of the reasons I guess that I love the ocean so much. Time seem to disappear when I would walk by myself, hours seemed to condense into minutes, and when I got back, I was always amazed that so much time had passed without me noticing it. It was almost like I became something else when participating in this kind of endeavor. Either my mind shut down or expanded, don’t know, but I did enjoy it. Perhaps it is the same experience that happens when reading a book or watching a long movie; just being focused in the moment, changes our experience of time. Funny, no matter how much I love the ocean, I hate swimming in it. I suppose the reason being that I love to swim under water so much. Something difficult to do in salt water; also can’t open your eyes without goggles, salt water too painful.. And is there anyone in the whole world who likes swallowing it? I think it can be compared with the unique experience taking a heaping dose of Castro oil. One of my favorite childhood memories; lining up, holding my nose, and quickly taking my medicine, just because of having a few harmless worms in my system, or at least that is what my mom thought. So I am an observer of the ocean, one who loves it from afar, not wanting to just jump in. It takes an inland lake to draw that out of me. I just love it underwater, the silent floating and sinking, and then the rush to the surface is a true delight for me. I love to go to the bottom, crouch down, wait, and then push up with all my might and explode from the depths.almost like a birth, gasping for the life giving air. Perhaps it is a birth memory, my love of being under water, and just floating, a cellular memory of some kind. I have done some reading on Holotropic breath work which seems to point to that possibility. I like living near the ocean, the air is so invigorating, and something I miss living in a land locked area, with only small ponds to walk by. No pounding waves or the wonderful smell of salt air, which I can never seem to get enough of, when near the ocean. It is like my soul is thirsty for the experience of just being there, doing nothing at all, nothing needing to be done. One day I am going to rent a motel room right on the beach and spend a week of doing nothing but walk the water line, drink wine, eat hot-dogs, read, and watch movies. Now that is a thought. I really like the eating of hot-dogs part, probably one of my favorite foods accompanied by a side order of mashed potatoes.

How else can we love ourselves? God is always at work, in ways that can't be comprehended, or even seen. When Jesus was in the tomb, for a time, it seemed that... evil had won, yet that was not the case, nor is it now. As Christians, when we gain understanding more deeply what it means to be in Christ, or as St. Paul said: It is not I who live, but Christ Jesus who lives in me, it is then that Jesus can work through us. We can become Christ's hands and feet, his heart in an often cold world. If we forget that, then we will become our own authority and act on that. The cycles that we find ourselves in can only be broken by stepping back, not reacting, but to be present to the one before us, no matter who they may be. It is the grace of Christ who allows this to happen. How else can we love our enemies, indeed how else can we love ourselves? for we treat others the way we relate to ourselves.--Br.MD

Public Where is Christ Jesus? Our Heavenly Father knows us and our circumstances and even what faces us in the future. His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior, has suffered and paid for our sins and those of all the people we will ever meet. He has perfect understanding of the feelings, the suffering, the trials, and the needs of every individual.---Henry B. Eyring ++++++++++... Where is Christ Jesus the revelation of the Father to the world when things fall apart, when tragedy hits, or when life wears us down? The face of Christ is everywhere; all we need to do is to see with the eyes of Christ. People who are worn out seeking to do good show us the face of Christ fully in their fatigue, in their never giving up even though all that they accomplish may seem nil. It is the Spirit of Christ that propels them. In those who live without any regard for what is good and holy, they also show us the face of Christ by their inner emptiness that they many may not be aware of. In hearts that are without love or compassion, we see the tortured face of Jesus. In those who work for the kingdom we see the tiredness and the struggle against hopelessness. It is Christ in all. For in children, in those who are addicted, the rich and famous, the dying and those in prison, all show us Christ Jesus if we allow our hearts to become His. Until we learn this lesson, no matter what our path is, our world will continue to fragment and become more hell like. Science in the hands of men without regard for others truly makes our lives more fearful. Religious leaders who only preach fear, or some message that takes away from the seeking after the Heart of God, could in the end be worse than those men who only think of power, profit and how to use that in a spirit of greed. Evil devours us, only Infinite Love can open us up to true life. Until we understand what our deepest longing is, we will never find rest or peace. For people at war with themselves cannot live in peace with others.-Br/MD

Saturday, November 7 BOGO! 10-11:30 AM, lunch break, then 2-3:30 PM Due to the unprecedented anxiety over an undecided election that might face legal challeng...es and other delays, the Monastery is offering a BOGO on a timely retreat this weekend. As if the pandemic, economic anxiety and racism were not enough of a concern, now we are facing a undetermined election that promises to create political disagreements and turmoil well after a winner is declared. Many are struggling to adjust to post-pandemic life --- either feeling lonely or feeling overwhelmed by work, homeschooling and cooped-up family life. We can do our best to avoid the chaos and clashes in the outside world but, as we face the holidays, we find many of those same tensions eating away at relationships with family and friends and even our own mental health. The answer is learning to navigate with our God-given spiritual GPS. God is less concerned with what happens around us than He is on what happens inside us. Spiritual GPS will help you: 1) Navigate the chaos in your life: 2) Deal with family, friends or co-workers who irritate you; and 3) Evict the negative thoughts that move in uninvited. Register yourself and a free guest no later than midnight tonight (Friday). Suggested donation to the Monastery: $45. Reserve your spot today! [email protected] or 770-760-0959.

We all belong People go to ‘Holy Places’ who are wounded and because monks know of their own wounds, all are welcome. Mercy and healing are one. Often people ...feel like outsiders. Perhaps that is one of the most common experiences had by all humans. Yet in reality, we all belong, and sometimes when coming to Monasteries or some other holy place, they discover that those who live there struggle the same as they do. Knowing of their own brokenness’ and the journey towards wholeness that flows from personal experience, allows the reality to sink in that their really are no strangers and all are in need of compassion, empathy and yes deep respect. In spite of our fragility, God uses us all to touch others often unknown to ourselves--Br.MD

The homily was given by Fr. Cassian OCSO, an insightful approach towards humility. Fr. Cassian is a very good homilist.--Br.MD If I humble myself, then I will... surely be exalted. Preached November 3, 2020 Today we hear the celebrated Christological hymn of descent and ascent. Prior to the hymn itself, Paul instructs his Philippian audience to have the same attitude as Christ this Christ who emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, and whom the Father exalted so that all creation will recognize Jesus as Lord. Both Luke and Matthew have: whoever humbles himself will be exalted. This seems to say what Paul says, but it is easy to read it the wrong way and slide off the narrow way. It may lead us to manipulate our own behavior in order to be exalted, ignoring the fact that Christ’s exaltation is an act of the Father, not him. If I humble myself, then I will surely be exalted. We can see this misreading in Uriah Heep not the rock band, but the obsequious law clerk in David Copperfield. Uriah wrings his hands and speaks of his umbleness. He is finally exposed by Mr. Micawber as an embezzler. Thanks to Uriah Heep, people often mistake humility as a false front for selfishness. Rightly understood, humility is a key virtue in Christian life. Just before today’s hymn, Paul writes Humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but everyone for those of others. Similarly St. Benedict advises No one is to pursue what he judges better for himself, but instead, what he judges better for someone else. This is the true humility that escapes Uriah Heep: it grows from an attention to others and not to oneself. The greatest danger is to think humility is making ourselves an object of our own work to reform our own behavior to act humbly. Rather, I would like to suggest that humility is a consequence of our recognizing the immense grandeur of the true, the good, the beautiful the grandeur of God. Humility flows from being stunned into wonder and awe. It is when Mary sees the enormity of her overshadowing, that she grasps her own nothingness. St Benedict includes this as his first step of humility: The first step of humility, then, is that a man keeps the fear of God always before his eyes (Ps 36:2) and never forgets it. (RB 7:10) The fear of God is an apprehension of the power of God, the greatness of God, the grandeur of God. Before such immensity, we are astounded by our own littleness. We are left open-mouthed and speechless. By keeping God’s grandeur always in mind, we act according to a real sense of our identity as creatures of God, dependent for life on the breath of the Spirit, sustained by the power of resurrection. Thus, humility frees us from our own self-concern, opening us to the energy of God. Unfortunately, Benedict, by speaking of steps, suggests that humility is a virtue we can achieve by our own efforts. It would have been better had he left the passage as Cassian had written it: these are not steps to be climbed, but indices of humility, signs by which we recognize humility. I suggest that the Christological hymn in Philippians is not telling us to make our own behavior an object to manipulate in order to imitate the stunning act of incarnation. The whole hymn, the full action of the Son and the Father, descending and ascending, is truly incomprehensible; so we are moved toward admiration. Open-mouthed wonder leads us to that humble mutual regard, by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing. Paul rejoices.

Prayer for the Election Year of a President God of mercy, our nation is in a time of great transition. With all of the injustice and fear in our world today, we ask you to inspire us and guide us as we participate in the upcoming presidential elections. We seek a government that upholds and protects human rights and justice for all its citizens,... regardless of race, class, gender, or religion. Move and inspire us by your presence among us in the most vulnerable in our society. For their tears are your tears, their pain is your pain, their suffering is your suffering. In gratitude for the right to vote, we pray. - Anna Misleh See more

All Souls Day 2020 "The more one longs for a thing, the more painful does deprivation of it become. And because after this life, the desire for God, the Supreme... Good, is intense in the souls of the just (because this impetus toward him is not hampered by the weight of the body, and that time of enjoyment of the Perfect Good would have come) had there been no obstacle; the soul suffers enormously from the delay."-Saint Thomas Aquinas, The Angelic Doctor . There are many aspects of life that many do not wish to think about. One of them is about the healing that many of us will go through after we die. Healing, and suffering, seem to go together. The healing of moral wounds can also be even more painful. Moral healing can only come through clarity, insight, and the experiencing of how our ethical failings have not only hurt our souls but done damage to others as well. The healing of the soul can only come through a re-experiencing in the first-person, the depth of our wrongdoing. This can seem fearful, but in reality, it is a mercy. For to not go through this healing purification is to be left in a state of deep self-alienation. The saying The truth will set you free, is correct. There are no distractions in the experience of purgatorial healing and purification. We cannot evade what needs to be done. The truth stares us in the face demanding that we return the gaze and accept whatever needs to be done. There is mercy, which blots out the consequences of sin, which is eternal death and is given freely to all who ask. Yet the wounds that are brought into existence still need healing. There is no way to escape this reality. The pain comes from our own woundedness, not from God. The grace of this life is that we can face the truth here and now. Healing can start today this moment, all we need do is to be still before the loving gaze of God and allow the Fire of the Holy Spirit to do its work. Jesus died for us so that we could become like Him. We may have to go through our own passion while in this world, or if not, it may be needed in the next. In the Body of Christ, we are all one. Those who pass on are simply deeper in, and understand their lives in the light of God’s gaze. Souls in need of healing, place themselves where they need to go. While there is suffering, there is also great happiness, since they are on the road to union with God. Prayer is the healing ointment we can pour onto their souls. In prayer, we unite ourselves with Christ Jesus and seek to grow in the love of all, so that we can with God’s help be part of the healing for others. We are called to do this because all Christians belong to the Priesthood of the Faithful.Br.MD

All Saints Day 2020 If God is for us, who is against us? (Rom 8:31): this is the source of the peace found in the saints. Such inner strength makes it possibl...e for us, in our fast-paced, noisy and aggressive world, to give a witness of holiness through patience and constancy in doing good. It is a sign of the fidelity born of love, for those who put their faith in God (pístis) can also be faithful to others (pistós). They do not desert others in bad times; they accompany them in their anxiety and distress, even though doing so may not bring immediate satisfaction. (112)Pope Francis ++++++++++ What is a Saint? I would say that a Saint is one wherein the Flame-of-Love, which is Jesus Christ in his Incarnation, has hollowed out a human heart from instinctive, fearful, angry, and aggressive stances towards others. I for one am a long way from that reality, yet I feel the slow burn of God’s love in my heart, slowly, according to my ability to accept, drawing me closer to union with his perfect, loving, compassionate, humanity. Jesus only spoke the truth, and when he spoke in ‘anger’ it was only to break through resistance. He did not use anger to simply attack, humiliate, and dominate anyone. To be fearful, or anxious, or angry is to be off-center, wobbly, weak. Being forceful is for me a cover-up for my own inner chaos and pain, which has deep roots in my past. So, I would say that to grow in love, the past has to be understood, but not allowed to control how I relate to others ‘today’. My own inner struggles allows self-knowledge to grow, humility to deepen, as well as empathy. My own struggle with aggression is probably one of the most common struggles for humanity. So to be constant in the face of inner resistance, to be patient when I do not feel it, to be loving in the face of my own often cold and rocky heart, I have to say is my spiritual path. Struggle, as well as suffering, is the forge that draws me deeper into the Heart of Jesus Christ. I find I judge harshly when I am floundering in my own inner pain, or when I am in full flight from it. To become more loving, to accept others, is to be able to respond to the grace that allows self-knowledge to grow without becoming disconsolate over what I may see. It can deepen trust in God’s all-encompassing mercy, and in that experience, I can give it to others. To allow Christ Jesus to work through us, to allow His heart to become one with ours, is to become more human, less fearful, and in humility not to be shocked when there are many failuresthere is always a new beginning. We are all beloved of God. In some Jesus may be asleep, In others, still dead in the tomb, but there is always hope that His light will shine, all we need do is to not dowse the flame of the Spirit, but to encourage it by our love of others, and when we speak the truth, too not seek to dominate, but to understand we are there to plant seeds, not to hammer someone over the head. It does not work with me, so why should it work with anyone else?Br.Md

It is in giving that we receive O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, ... to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.St. Francis of Assisi When Christ Jesus was accosted in the garden of Gethsemane, betrayed, manhandled, and arrested, in the midst of all that chaos, Peter drew his sword and cut off the ear of Malchus. Peter’s response was understandable, for we protect those we love and respect. Also fear can lead us to commit acts we would not normally do. Like Peter denying his Lord. Jesus forgave him because he sees our hearts; he knew Peter’s true character. In the midst of this chaos, no one noticed what happened to Malchus, well no one but our loving and compassionate Lord. He reached out in the tumult and touched gently the ear of one of the men who came to arrest him and healed him. I find this astounding.. Jesus wished to console and heals one of his enemies! Jesus’ heart was truly human and divine, he shows us what we are to become when we give ourselves over to his grace and healing. In the catholic faith, we call attention to this reality by calling upon the Sacred Heart of Jesus. His love for each of us is unfathomable and who can understand it. I believe the second part of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis is a true call for all Christians to ponder on what it means to embody Christ Jesus, to allow his grace and love to fill us. My heart is still fearful at times, or it feels like stone, dead, yet when I think of Christ Jesus and this scene, my heart again opens up to his deep love and compassion. He truly wants all of us to hear his Word, to believe in his love and for us to reach out and love all..for God wills the salvation of all men and that they come to the truth..that truth is Jesus Christ, God, and Man, who came for each one of us out of true unconditional infinite love. Oh Lord, that we Christians will learn to reach out to all in love that they may come to understand your deep love for all. For we Christians are your heart in an often heartless world, your hands to comfort and your feet to seek out those who need your love and mercy.--Br.MD